Well it's here. The night I've dreamed of since day 1. A whole year ago coming home the first night thinking oh my... this is going to be terrible... pretty sure I didn't sleep because I was determined someone was waiting outside ready to break in my house and I was going to have to get my gun out that Jono and rehearsed and rehearsed over and over again before he left... ya I know a little over the top. Or closing all the curtains at 4pm because nobody was looking in at us. Or having my father in law place a steal CAGE over my window well so my nightmares of someone jumping in and coming up to get us would stop. Or running to my sister in laws because a Tornado is coming. Or waking up from a terrible dream and calling Mom to come stay.
I had my last dinner I hope I ever have to have alone well Brinn and I did. I cried to the whole time we cried and laughed because Brinn thinks its funny when I cry... totally Jono's child. I didn't cry because I was sad it was just insane how our little routine just worked every night. I also cried because Brinn prays with me now and I don't alone she puts her head and stares at me and yells when I say Amen! The shades are WIDE open and have been all night while I was cleaning so anyone could have watched. I think I even left the garage door open the other night? hmm... I"ve gotten a little bit more mature maybe or I'm just used to be alone. I don't know anyhow. Things change. I'm ready for him to be home. I've prepare and prepared for tomorrow and there is nothing more I can do! Just remind myself how different I was last year at this time. I was preparing to let him go and preparing to maybe never see him again. However, God has a different plan for us and I can't wait to get it started again with him!
August 1, 2010
I'll never forget how I felt at this moment. I didn't want it to end I could have stood here for days just saying Goodbye. The second Brinn and I left it was go time... Survival. I'm so grateful for this year I've grown as a woman, Wife, and Mom. Seems like just yesterday we stood here and that's what I call God's Grace.
Love you all hopefully see you tomorrow when we get him BACK!
I CANT WAIT! ITS HERE!
ReplyDeleteThis post was amazing Cole. You're such a intelligent, beautiful, and strong person... inside and out. I am so incredibly thankful that Jon has come home safely for you and Brinn. I am glad you finally get to have him around everyday again, I know how excited you (and Brinn) were when he came home for his leave... and now you get to be together again. I'm sure it's the best feeling in the world! I am sorry that I didn't get a chance to spend more time with you (and keep you company) this summer, and I hope that we can get together sometime before the school year starts. Congratulations to your family again for Jon's safe return! I look forward to reading your next blog post!! :)
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