God's Grace.

Today I was at my Kindergarten class and I was going through markers, crayons, and colored pencils. They were laying all over the tables and floor and most of them needed to be thrown or needed to be sharpened. So as I went through them I started with the markers. Just making a check to see if they would need to be thrown or kept. I got to thinking... I'm so glad God doesn't do this to us. There have been so many times in my life, mostly the past year and our recent deployment, when I've felt just that way. Dried up and worn out. Tired of being "strong" being the one that "holds it together so well". Taking care of the house, caring for Brinn, trying to be positive with every conversation from across the world. I'm definitely NOT bursting with color, I definitely would have been thrown right in the trash today. I would be like that neon yellow that when you make the slash it doesn't even show up. 

However, I have seen so many amazing things that have happened in my life through just believing and trusting. We recently just finished our R&R and for some odd reason, I was filled with Joy as I turned and walked from Jon. Yes, not normal I know. Of course I was sad and filled with emotion. The second we were alone it was Brinn and I and we were going to do this. We need to do this, for Jon. 

I feel like some people get the wrong impression. I'm not strong. I'm not amazing. I do know how I do it. It's all through believing. Trusting in God and going to Him for anything. That is what we are called to do, and it's what gets me through each day. Not me, Him. 

Just like the day I got the last phone call and he was getting on a plane to go over seas. I sat up eating chocolate chips all night and woke up full of some weird crazy not normal Joy. God has some of the most incredible ways of making His presence and it's so encouraging and loving. He always knows how to Strengthen me, and fix me up and pat me on the back and put me on my way again. 

Something that I have truly learned from this deployment is God is glorified the most when we can't do anything. We ask for help we throw it all on Him. He never expects us to be something we aren't he knows who we are and exactly what he wants us to be. Every single thing that we face each and everyday is just one step closer to the end result of what HE truly has wanted and created us to be. 

So today be thankful and grateful for Grace and God. I am. 

But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 

1Corinthians 12:9