Friday, January 14, 2011

Just a Little Bit Stronger

Woke up this morning and some mornings are a little brighter than others. This morning was bright because I woke up to my Nephew and Neice B man and Syd. We spent New Years Eve with them and it was so relaxing and GOOD. Jess and I just get each other in this silent unspoken way and I love it.
Most days I just get a little bit stronger. Most days I get up and I feel the pain of Him not being there next to me. Yet most days I get out of the bed I brush my teeth put myself together again and put that smile on my face. It makes it easier that way, and I get a little bit stronger, both Brinn and I do.
We Got a little bit stronger…
Through the motions of the day we forget about the pain and we surround ourselves with Good things and things we love. The pain is so easy to set in and let it consume. Brinn and myself don’t let that happen because that is failure, that is mission failed:) So even on our weakest days we get a little bit stronger, not for ourselves we get stronger for Him.
It doesn’t really happen over night but a month goes by and it’s crazy how fast it does. I realize wow I haven’t even cried… It’s crazy some days the Joy I can be consumed with and it feels wrong but it’s not. I have really really good days where I’m ok with Jono being gone and I’m ok I can do it, because I have to and I want to. I still feel like even on my worst weakest days I get stronger and I get through it with help sometimes and my mom and dad for sure.
I felt really weak this day…
Brinn knew her daddy, Brinn Loved her daddy when he returns, Brinn will know her daddy, Brinn will love her daddy, and mommy will be a lot Stronger.
8.1.11

I’m so thankful for the year of 2010. It has Completely changed my life. I have become and mother, a wife, and a sister-in-law to be! I have been given so much I can’t even explain the gratefulness. TO the friends who scooped my driveway to the brothers who clean my sidewalk. To my dad who hangs and takes things down, and hangs and takes things down in my ever-changing decorative house. To the mother who is always here at the drop of a hat just so I can take a nap. To the soon to be sister-in-law who is great to vent to. To the sister-in-law who I chat to almost five times a day. To the brother who moves things up and down the steps.  To the sister-in-law who makes sure my light in on every night. TO the friend who just texts to ask me how I am. To the in-laws who love me unconditionally. To my favorite cousin. To the Grandma who stays to keep us company. To Izzy. To my financial Advisors. To my BBM buddy. To friends who have already served and given their time, thank you. To the family who begs to watch Brinn. To the patriotic Aunt. To my big sister. To the new friendships and the old. The ups and the downs. The love and support does go far and gets us through. To the family coaches of Iowa, and all the C. Co woman. To my sister who GETS me in a way that nobody else can. To the Love Of My Life. To the little girl who brightens each day and fills my heart with Joy.  Thank you everyone for your love, your support, and your friendship it’s my therapy and medicine and to the one and only True God who is good to us and my family this year. It was a great year Happy 2010.

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