Operation Sage: Nothing but a breath

I find myself most days in class ~~not paying attention~~ paying attention but daydreaming about Jono… His smell, his laugh, his touch, his hands, his eyes, his blonde hair, his chicken legs, his everything and I love it I love it all every single little piece of him I love.

This then brings me to life itself and hardship and trials. People may look at our deployment and feel bad and say wow that sure is a trial they will just have to get through. Absolutely not, for me its more of a learning experience and total GRACE. I love Jon when he left and I love him now but that Love is so STRONG and so built up it’s unbelievable. It’s like falling in love all over again. It’s like kissing them the first time when we kiss the next time. It’s truly a blessing to be put where I am and the Love I get to feel and the love I get in return is what Jono and I call “Grace through Deployment”. When I’m having bad days I just say “Grace through Deployment”.

I will never take for granted him walking through that door I stare at it some nights trying to remember the last time he walked through it. The last time he walked out it he was in his ACU’s with tears in his eyes… that was only the beginning.

I believe that we can choose to live to survive…or you can survive so that you can really live. This is hard to understand but the way that I look at is things and pieces to life are meaningless. If all of this is meaningless what does it mean to really live? How do I truly live when part of my heart is missing?

This just brings me back to Jono and how he is my gift he is mine forever. I get him, he choose me and I choose him. This is what life is, it’s our life with Brinn and I choose to survive and live out life.

My cousin Keely is a counselor and she ROCKS she councils me sometimes when I go crazy no just kidding. She just always helps me really look at what I have and what life could be. We know this little boy who is very sick they are constantly in and out of the hospital in Iowa City and they live five hours away. I can’t even imagine Brinn being sick or Jono being sick. We are all healthy and we need to be thankful and by golly I am

Thanks Keely for that little daily inspiration…