The Unknown

As a military spouse I have found that one of the hardest things to deal with while Jono is gone is the Unknown. My biggest thing is I want to know where you lay your head down. I want to know where you eat breakfast. I want to know where you shower, where you do everything.

So just not knowing what it looks like where he is, and the dangers that it brings is hard. I can consume myself with thoughts and pictures in my head about what it’s like. However, I have found that this doesn’t really help. I don’t really ask Jono about missions and what he does. I know he is doing something so great… When he calls I answer and I just be what HE needs me to be… his Wife.

Jono called me one morning and kind of hinted about some things… I hadn’t asked and didn’t really want to know but they were going on their first mission, leaving the COP and going out into the danger. He had been there a couple of weeks and really hadn’t left so I was kind of hoping and praying it would stay that way.

Tears fell down my cheeks as I hung up the phone…

The Confidence that I just had minutes before the conversation was gone… an emotional RoLlEr CoAsTeR

Jono was heading straight into something I had no clue about. I HAVE NO CONTROL OVER. Not one thing I can do about it. I can cry and pray and hope, but there is not one single thing I can do. He is walking straight into the Unknown.

I guess for me not knowing is good. Not knowing what he is doing and knowing that there is nothing I can do about it simply because it’s all in Gods hands. That night as I hung up the phone I just lost all control and confidence that I had gained.

Feeling  really convicted as the tears were streaming down my face, I realized. I sensed God say… “Am I in Control?”  Yes. “And don’t you think that I’m with Jono protecting and watching over him, just as I do for you each day?” Yes… “Trust in me then, and even when you don’t know what tomorrow brings, I do.” This totally changed my night what it could have been and what it was. I truly don’t know how anyone can get through a deployment without the constant reminder that God is with us and in him we need to trust… it’s amazing what a little relationship can do

Nobody knows what tomorrow will bring… one person does… “For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” So this is just what I trust in when I know the unknown is creeping in.

So some of my Unknown’s were explained today Jono sent me an email with some pictures attached!

This is where they go potty, the go in a bag in this little tent and then they burn it sorry if that was TMI!

So Jono tells me how he is getting so BIG because he lifts and works out all the time. Ha ha sorry but this is not really a GYM!

This is what Jono calls “Home Sweet Home”

Hooch… Jono built the table

His bed is the top one

Jono is on the right… I know he is VERY good looking told me today he showered for the first time in 46 days… as you  can see here he looks pretty dirty! His hair is my favorite its really long I LOVE it